Why Women Can’t Find “Great Men”

The Brutal Truth About Dating Value Perception

Think you know tons of amazing single women, but all the great men are taken? But—statistically, that can’t be true. However, here’s the harsh reality: society rates women way more favorably than men, even in studies. For every “incredible” woman, you *should* find an equal number of high-value men... so why don’t you? Most average guys are invisible—especially on dating apps. The real problem? It’s perception. The men you actually want are right in front of you, but you’re looking straight through them. Want to know why bars and dating apps feel empty, but tight-knit communities suddenly make “average” guys look good? It’s called the proximity principle, and it explains why the “where are all the good men?” question never dies. Dive in with hoe_math for the brutal math and psychology behind why women see more “quality” than men—and why most guys are losing at the dating game.

0|23|Perception|Perception of Single Women|The discussion begins by highlighting the common belief that there are many incredible single women but few great single men, and challenges the assumption that numbers of exceptional men and women should be equal.
23|50|Bias|Gender Favorability Bias|It is explained that studies show both men and women tend to evaluate women more favorably than men, affecting perceptions of value and desirability.
50|103|Visibility|Men’s Social Invisibility|The speaker discusses how average men are often invisible to average women and how high standards further skew perceptions of available "great men."
103|138|Proximity|Proximity Principle Explained|The "proximity principle" is introduced, showing how spending more time around people in tight-knit communities or workplaces can increase attraction, and how initial impressions can be misleading.
138|205|Reality|Reality of Dating Imbalance|The conversation ends by addressing the embarrassment many feel about the perceived lack of attractive men, explaining that matching in quality exists, but biases and perceptions cause people to overlook potential partners.

0.0 I know a lot of incredible single women, but every guy I know who's worth knowing already has a partner. 7.0 That just can't be true based on how the population of the world works. 10.0 I have some bad news for you about how the population of the world actually works. 13.0 You say you know a lot of incredible single women and not as many great men. 21.0 Notice that "incredible" is a strong word, and it seems like you're assuming that for every incredible woman, there must also be an incredible man, and the same for "mid" people. 37.0 If we measured things like intelligence, income, or facial symmetry objectively, we'd probably find an equal number of men and women in each value group. 47.0 But we don't measure objectively; we just like women more. 50.0 In a study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly, researchers found that both male and female respondents evaluated women more favorably than men. 68.0 The research shows strong evidence that women are evaluated more favorably than men. 76.0 When people see unfamiliar women, they tend to assume they have value, but it doesn't work the same way for men. 88.0 An average man is basically invisible to an average woman. 91.0 It feels like for every 10 great women I meet, I meet one great man, which is even stricter than the study's ratio of 1 to 7. 104.0 So where are all the great men? They're hiding in your perception. 109.0 The men who look good right away, at a quick glance, are a very small percentage. 114.0 But when you spend more time getting to know men in places like church, a higher percentage start to seem attractive. 120.0 This is how bars, dating apps, and tight-knit communities work; people like each other more over time, especially women liking men. 129.0 This is called the proximity principle, and it leads to questions like the one we're discussing. 134.0 For example, I illustrated this with the standard female delusion chart—proximity attraction in the workplace is real. 141.0 I met up with a guy I used to work with and used to think was super hot, but now I wondered what I was thinking. 154.0 So, where are all the men? They must be here somewhere, right? 161.0 Unfortunately, the answer is that you're in one area, and the men you're looking for are in another area, beneath the "great men worth knowing" line. 170.0 You're not alone in your experience of seeing very few good men. 175.0 The number of attractive women versus attractive men per capita is embarrassing. 179.0 Men are terrible at dating apps; everyone on Tinder is the ugliest species I've ever seen. 185.0 Are you on Tinder? It's disgusting. But the men must be out there somewhere, right? 190.0 If you want men and women to match one-to-one in terms of quality, those men are out there. 202.0 But you're probably just looking right through them.

The translations and simplified transcript are based on translations of the original material, localized into multiple languages. Powered by PeakCreatorRoyalty.com under license with hoe_math.

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